Fenny <***@removethis.gmail.com> wrote:
> On Sat, 18 Aug 2018 13:29:54 -0700 (PDT), "***@gmail.com
> Tony Smith Prestbury Glos." <***@gmail.com> wrote:
> < snip tale of bridal tardiness >
>> Did any married umrattette ever arrive so late for her own wedding?
> I think I may have mentioned before that Pa disappeared on the morning
> of his wedding.
> My parental units tied the knot in Ma's home town - a small mill town
> north of Keighley. There was only one wedding car in the town, so the
> practice was for the car to collect the groom and deliver him to the
> church, then go to fetch the bride.
> The nuptials took place on the Saturday before Christmas almost 60
> years ago. As it was cold, Pa had packed a pair of thick light grey
> woollen socks to wear. As he was dressing in the morning, his father
> came in and decreed the socks to be unsuitable as they didn't match
> the charcoal grey suit.
> Pa and his brother, who was acting as Best Man, decided to go and buy
> some new socks before the ceremony and they walk to the church.
> Unfortunately, they didn't bother to inform anyone of their plan. So
> when the car turned up, neither was to be found and nobody knew where
> they were. Some enterprising person must have thought to make
> enquiries at the church, where they had arrived on foot some time
> earlier, so the car was eventually sent off to pick up the bridal
> If photographic evidence is to be believed, everyone finally turned up
> and the deed was done. There is a photo of everyone who attended the
> wedding and reception - 35 includng their two small godchildren. Ma
> can still name everyone in the picture except the one person who is
> standing directly behind Ma and whose face is obscured by Ma's veil.
#2 daughter’s bridal Rolls Royce broke down outside our house. The driver
said it was the battery. We took the battery out of my new Mini Metro and
inserted it into the Rolls. Meantime, the bridesmaids stood about, waiting.
The church was only about half and mile away, so the plan had been to take
them and me first, then come back for the bride. Time was passing. Their
posies and garlands were made from such fragrant roses that they became the
target of many bees. We stood in the road in our finery, watching the
driver fit the battery and swatting at the bees.
The large house opposite was used as a care home and, while the residents
gathered in the garden and watched with interest, the owner came over and
offered to take the bridesmaids and me to the church in her Rover. We all
arrived at the same time only slightly late and not too much dishevelled.
The thinking umrat’s choice for editor