Discussion:
pedantry from gransnet
(too old to reply)
Vicky
2018-02-28 11:00:03 UTC
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https://www.gransnet.com/forums/pedants_corner/1245702-A-Pedant-walks-into-a-bar?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Weds%2028%20Feb%20-%20Gransnet%20Daily%20Newsletter&utm_content=Weds%2028%20Feb%20-%20Gransnet%20Daily%20Newsletter+CID_5899f553da6622d3a574daaad3c4d5d9&utm_source=newsletters&utm_term=A%20pedant%20walks%20into%20a%20bar

--

Vicky
Penny
2018-02-28 14:31:56 UTC
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On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 11:00:03 +0000, Vicky <***@gmail.com> scrawled
in the dust...

>https://www.gransnet.com/forums/pedants_corner/1245702-A-Pedant-walks-into-a-bar

That link crashed Agent several times before I had a closer look at it and
copied the basic link without all the carp at the end instead of
double-clicking it.
So I thought I'd copy and paste the post to save others similar problems...

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting
with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a
wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his
magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys
everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we
don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but
hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They
depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute
as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little
sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting
figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles
heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named
Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they
conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the
television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the
bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

*(I can’t take credit for these, but the malapropism is my favorite.
Enjoy!)
--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959
DavidK
2018-02-28 15:10:10 UTC
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On 28/02/18 14:31, Penny wrote:
> On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 11:00:03 +0000, Vicky <***@gmail.com> scrawled
> in the dust...
>
>> https://www.gransnet.com/forums/pedants_corner/1245702-A-Pedant-walks-into-a-bar
>
> That link crashed Agent several times before I had a closer look at it and
> copied the basic link without all the carp at the end instead of
> double-clicking it.
> So I thought I'd copy and paste the post to save others similar problems...
>
> A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting
> with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
>
> A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>
> An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
>
> Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
>
> A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a
> wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his
> magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
>
> Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys
> everything.
>
> A question mark walks into a bar?
>
> A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
>
> Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we
> don't serve your type."
>
> A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but
> hoping to nip it in the bud.
>
> A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>
> Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They
> depart.
>
> A synonym strolls into a tavern.
>
> At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute
> as a button, and sharp as a tack.
>
> A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little
> sentence fragment.
>
> Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
>
> A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting
> figuratively hammered.
>
> An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles
> heel.
>
> The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
>
> A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named
> Ralph.
>
> The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
>
> A dyslexic walks into a bra.
>
> A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they
> conjugate. The noun declines.
>
> An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the
> television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
>
> A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
>
> A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
>
> A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the
> bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
>
> *(I can’t take credit for these, but the malapropism is my favorite.
> Enjoy!)
>

Thank you, these were brilliant! My two favourites were Papyrus and
Comic Sans, and the tense situation.
J. P. Gilliver (John)
2018-02-28 19:13:42 UTC
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In message <***@mid.individual.net>, DavidK
<***@invalid.invalid> writes:
>On 28/02/18 14:31, Penny wrote:
>> On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 11:00:03 +0000, Vicky <***@gmail.com> scrawled
>> in the dust...
>>
>>>
>>>https://www.gransnet.com/forums/pedants_corner/1245702-A-Pedant-walks-
>>>into-a-bar
>> That link crashed Agent several times before I had a closer look at
>>it and
>> copied the basic link without all the carp at the end instead of
>> double-clicking it.
>> So I thought I'd copy and paste the post to save others similar problems...

Thanks for doing that!
[]
>> *(I can’t take credit for these, but the malapropism is my favorite.
>> Enjoy!)
>>
Did!
>
>Thank you, these were brilliant! My two favourites were Papyrus and
>Comic Sans, and the tense situation.
>
>
If we're on the bars (!), here are a couple:

A medical student walks in to a bar, and asks for some adenosine
triphosphate. The barman said "that'll be ATP."

A dog loses his tail in a bar-room accident, and dies of his injuries.
His ghost returns to the bar the next afternoon in search of the lost
appendage - but is told "I'm sorry, but we're not licenced to re-tail
spirits before 6 p.m. ..."
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

You can be tough without being rude - Nick Clegg, 2014 July
DavidK
2018-03-01 10:16:18 UTC
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On 28/02/18 19:13, J. P. Gilliver (John) wrote:
> In message <***@mid.individual.net>, DavidK
> <***@invalid.invalid> writes:
>> On 28/02/18 14:31, Penny wrote:
>>> On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 11:00:03 +0000, Vicky <***@gmail.com>
>>> scrawled
>>> in the dust...
>>>
>>>>
>>>> https://www.gransnet.com/forums/pedants_corner/1245702-A-Pedant-walks-
>>>> into-a-bar
>>>  That link crashed Agent several times before I had a closer look at
>>> it and
>>> copied the basic link without all the carp at the end instead of
>>> double-clicking it.
>>> So I thought I'd copy and paste the post to save others similar
>>> problems...
>
> Thanks for doing that!
> []
>>>  *(I can’t take credit for these, but the malapropism is my favorite.
>>> Enjoy!)
>>>
> Did!
>>
>> Thank you, these were brilliant! My two favourites were Papyrus and
>> Comic Sans, and the tense situation.
>>
>>
> If we're on the bars (!), here are a couple:
>
> A medical student walks in to a bar, and asks for some adenosine
> triphosphate. The barman said "that'll be ATP."
>
> A dog loses his tail in a bar-room accident, and dies of his injuries.
> His ghost returns to the bar the next afternoon in search of the lost
> appendage - but is told "I'm sorry, but we're not licenced to re-tail
> spirits before 6 p.m. ..."

A lump of granite was throwing its weight around and bragging how tough
it was in a rock-bar until a piece of pink tarmac walked in, whereupon
the granite sat down and shut up. When its mates asked why, it pointed
at the new arrival and said "you see that pink tarmac? It's a cycle-path!"
BrritSki
2018-03-01 11:59:24 UTC
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On 01/03/2018 11:16, DavidK wrote:
> On 28/02/18 19:13, J. P. Gilliver (John) wrote:
>> In message <***@mid.individual.net>, DavidK
>> <***@invalid.invalid> writes:
>>> On 28/02/18 14:31, Penny wrote:
>>>> On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 11:00:03 +0000, Vicky <***@gmail.com>
>>>> scrawled
>>>> in the dust...
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> https://www.gransnet.com/forums/pedants_corner/1245702-A-Pedant-walks-
>>>>> into-a-bar
>>>>  That link crashed Agent several times before I had a closer look at
>>>> it and
>>>> copied the basic link without all the carp at the end instead of
>>>> double-clicking it.
>>>> So I thought I'd copy and paste the post to save others similar
>>>> problems...
>>
>> Thanks for doing that!
>> []
>>>>  *(I can’t take credit for these, but the malapropism is my favorite.
>>>> Enjoy!)
>>>>
>> Did!
>>>
>>> Thank you, these were brilliant! My two favourites were Papyrus and
>>> Comic Sans, and the tense situation.
>>>
>>>
>> If we're on the bars (!), here are a couple:
>>
>> A medical student walks in to a bar, and asks for some adenosine
>> triphosphate. The barman said "that'll be ATP."
>>
>> A dog loses his tail in a bar-room accident, and dies of his injuries.
>> His ghost returns to the bar the next afternoon in search of the lost
>> appendage - but is told "I'm sorry, but we're not licenced to re-tail
>> spirits before 6 p.m. ..."
>
> A lump of granite was throwing its weight around and bragging how tough itia
> it was in a rock-bar until a piece of pink tarmac walked in, whereupon
> the granite sat down and shut up. When its mates asked why, it pointed
> at the new arrival and said "you see that pink tarmac? It's a cycle-path!"
>
:)

Nice story in the Times yesterday that really ought to be in the Dickens
thread but I cba to find it.

Dickens' stories were usually serialised first in the local paper, but A
Tale of Two Cities was serialised in TWO local rags, the Bicester Times
and the Worcester Times.

Boom boom !
Btms
2018-03-01 12:38:01 UTC
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BrritSki <***@gmail.com> wrote:
> On 01/03/2018 11:16, DavidK wrote:
>> On 28/02/18 19:13, J. P. Gilliver (John) wrote:
>>> In message <***@mid.individual.net>, DavidK
>>> <***@invalid.invalid> writes:
>>>> On 28/02/18 14:31, Penny wrote:
>>>>> On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 11:00:03 +0000, Vicky <***@gmail.com>
>>>>> scrawled
>>>>> in the dust...
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> https://www.gransnet.com/forums/pedants_corner/1245702-A-Pedant-walks-
>>>>>> into-a-bar
>>>>>  That link crashed Agent several times before I had a closer look at
>>>>> it and
>>>>> copied the basic link without all the carp at the end instead of
>>>>> double-clicking it.
>>>>> So I thought I'd copy and paste the post to save others similar
>>>>> problems...
>>>
>>> Thanks for doing that!
>>> []
>>>>>  *(I can’t take credit for these, but the malapropism is my favorite.
>>>>> Enjoy!)
>>>>>
>>> Did!
>>>>
>>>> Thank you, these were brilliant! My two favourites were Papyrus and
>>>> Comic Sans, and the tense situation.
>>>>
>>>>
>>> If we're on the bars (!), here are a couple:
>>>
>>> A medical student walks in to a bar, and asks for some adenosine
>>> triphosphate. The barman said "that'll be ATP."
>>>
>>> A dog loses his tail in a bar-room accident, and dies of his injuries.
>>> His ghost returns to the bar the next afternoon in search of the lost
>>> appendage - but is told "I'm sorry, but we're not licenced to re-tail
>>> spirits before 6 p.m. ..."
>>
>> A lump of granite was throwing its weight around and bragging how tough itia
>> it was in a rock-bar until a piece of pink tarmac walked in, whereupon
>> the granite sat down and shut up. When its mates asked why, it pointed
>> at the new arrival and said "you see that pink tarmac? It's a cycle-path!"
>>
> :)
>
> Nice story in the Times yesterday that really ought to be in the Dickens
> thread but I cba to find it.
>
> Dickens' stories were usually serialised first in the local paper, but A
> Tale of Two Cities was serialised in TWO local rags, the Bicester Times
> and the Worcester Times.
>
> Boom boom !
>

Oh dear it did take me a moment or two but I am not well you know. 🤨

I may as as well be first with: published in his magazine, Sketches by Boz.
I reckon this is why some of the narrative is verbose and drawn out.

--
BTMS - Equine Advisor Extraordinaire.
Sid Nuncius
2018-03-01 18:18:39 UTC
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On 01/03/2018 12:38, Btms wrote:
> BrritSki <***@gmail.com> wrote:

>> Dickens' stories were usually serialised first in the local paper, but A
>> Tale of Two Cities was serialised in TWO local rags, the Bicester Times
>> and the Worcester Times.
>>
>> Boom boom !
>
> Oh dear it did take me a moment or two but I am not well you know. 🤨

I hope you're safe from the storm, at least, Bottoms?


--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)
Btms
2018-03-01 19:34:56 UTC
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Sid Nuncius <***@tesco.net> wrote:
> On 01/03/2018 12:38, Btms wrote:
>> BrritSki <***@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>> Dickens' stories were usually serialised first in the local paper, but A
>>> Tale of Two Cities was serialised in TWO local rags, the Bicester Times
>>> and the Worcester Times.
>>>
>>> Boom boom !
>>
>> Oh dear it did take me a moment or two but I am not well you know. 🤨
>
> I hope you're safe from the storm, at least, Bottoms?
>
>

Thanks yes. We are not in the amber or red zone but it is really snowing
and blowing now. Fortunately we have butcher, baker & spa in the village.
Just hope their stocks will cover delivery problems. My friend high on
Bodmin Moor (st Breward) posted on FB their central heating was kaput. I
hope they have another option. St Breward is pretty vulnerable. But a gr8
community.



--
BTMS - Equine Advisor Extraordinaire.
Nick Odell
2018-03-01 19:48:03 UTC
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On 01/03/18 19:34, Btms wrote:
> Sid Nuncius <***@tesco.net> wrote:
>>
>> I hope you're safe from the storm, at least, Bottoms?
>>
>>
>
> Thanks yes. We are not in the amber or red zone but it is really snowing
> and blowing now. Fortunately we have butcher, baker & spa in the village.

Good to know that, when all else fails, you can still get natural health
water treatment and a manicure.

Nick
Btms
2018-03-01 20:31:05 UTC
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Nick Odell <***@themusicworkshop.plus.com> wrote:
> On 01/03/18 19:34, Btms wrote:
>> Sid Nuncius <***@tesco.net> wrote:
>>>
>>> I hope you're safe from the storm, at least, Bottoms?
>>>
>>>
>>
>> Thanks yes. We are not in the amber or red zone but it is really snowing
>> and blowing now. Fortunately we have butcher, baker & spa in the village.
>
> Good to know that, when all else fails, you can still get natural health
> water treatment and a manicure.
>
> Nick
>

Not that sort of Spa. Does it require an r? Though tbh there is one of
the other sort if needed 😊

--
BTMS - Equine Advisor Extraordinaire.
Btms
2018-03-01 20:44:45 UTC
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Btms <***@thetames.me.uk> wrote:
> Nick Odell <***@themusicworkshop.plus.com> wrote:
>> On 01/03/18 19:34, Btms wrote:
>>> Sid Nuncius <***@tesco.net> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I hope you're safe from the storm, at least, Bottoms?
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>> Thanks yes. We are not in the amber or red zone but it is really snowing
>>> and blowing now. Fortunately we have butcher, baker & spa in the village.
>>
>> Good to know that, when all else fails, you can still get natural health
>> water treatment and a manicure.
>>
>> Nick
>>
>
> Not that sort of Spa. Does it require an r? Though tbh there is one of
> the other sort if needed 😊
>

And I think we are now well into the amber zone now. There was enough snow
earlier to make visibility close to zero. Very fine soft snow. Not the
sort I am familiar with.

--
BTMS - Equine Advisor Extraordinaire.
J. P. Gilliver (John)
2018-03-02 13:20:06 UTC
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In message <p79ldm$nju$***@dont-email.me>, Nick Odell
<***@themusicworkshop.plus.com> writes:
>On 01/03/18 19:34, Btms wrote:
>> Sid Nuncius <***@tesco.net> wrote:
>>>
>>> I hope you're safe from the storm, at least, Bottoms?
>>>
>>>
>> Thanks yes. We are not in the amber or red zone but it is really
>>snowing
>> and blowing now. Fortunately we have butcher, baker & spa in the village.
>
>Good to know that, when all else fails, you can still get natural
>health water treatment and a manicure.
>
>Nick

Indeed! When I first read it, I was thinking butcher and baker fine (so
long as _their_ stocks hold out), but didn't think I'd be wanting to use
a spa much in this weather! Then the penny dropped. (That must be one of
the longest-running names for a chain, that hasn't been taken over by
another one [or has kept the name if it has]. I think it might have
originally been a German chain? [Sparen = save.])
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes
the Omrud
2018-03-02 14:10:31 UTC
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Raw Message
On 02/03/2018 13:20, J. P. Gilliver (John) wrote:
> In message <p79ldm$nju$***@dont-email.me>, Nick Odell
> <***@themusicworkshop.plus.com> writes:
>> On 01/03/18 19:34, Btms wrote:
>>> Sid Nuncius <***@tesco.net> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I hope you're safe from the storm, at least, Bottoms?
>>>>
>>>>
>>>  Thanks yes.  We are not in the amber or red zone but it is really
>>> snowing and blowing now. Fortunately we have butcher, baker & spa in the
>>> village.
>>
>> Good to know that, when all else fails, you can still get natural
>> health water treatment and a manicure.
>
> Indeed! When I first read it, I was thinking butcher and baker fine (so
> long as _their_ stocks hold out), but didn't think I'd be wanting to use
> a spa much in this weather! Then the penny dropped. (That must be one of
> the longest-running names for a chain, that hasn't been taken over by
> another one [or has kept the name if it has]. I think it might have
> originally been a German chain? [Sparen = save.])

Spar is (still) Dutch.

--
David
kosmo
2018-03-01 03:57:33 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 14:31:56 +0000, Penny <***@labyrinth.freeuk.com>
wrote:
> An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening
watching the
> television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

I think that ought to be ... watching the television, getting drunk,
and smoking cigars.

--
kosmo
Penny
2018-03-01 09:53:27 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On Thu, 01 Mar 2018 09:27:33 +0530, kosmo <***@whitnet.uk> scrawled in the
dust...

>On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 14:31:56 +0000, Penny <***@labyrinth.freeuk.com>
>wrote:
>> An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening
>watching the
>> television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
>
>I think that ought to be ... watching the television, getting drunk,
>and smoking cigars.

Nah, it was off the clock.
--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959
LFS
2018-03-01 12:54:34 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On 01/03/2018 03:57, kosmo wrote:
> On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 14:31:56 +0000, Penny <***@labyrinth.freeuk.com>
> wrote:
>> An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening
> watching the
>> television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
>
> I think that ought to be ... watching the television, getting drunk, and
> smoking cigars.
>

Indeed. It's not a very good example sentence anyway.

--
Laura (emulate St George for email)
J. P. Gilliver (John)
2018-03-01 16:08:21 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
In message <***@mid.individual.net>, LFS
<***@gmail.com> writes:
>On 01/03/2018 03:57, kosmo wrote:
>> On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 14:31:56 +0000, Penny <***@labyrinth.freeuk.com>
>>wrote:
>>> An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening
>> watching the
>>> television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
>> I think that ought to be ... watching the television, getting drunk,
>>and smoking cigars.
>>
>
>Indeed. It's not a very good example sentence anyway.
>
However, the drinking and smoking television makes a point well (though
not the point about the Oxford comma!).
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk? (Stolen from another .sig)
Mike
2018-03-01 16:26:37 UTC
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J. P. Gilliver (John) <G6JPG-***@255soft.uk> wrote:
> In message <***@mid.individual.net>, LFS
> <***@gmail.com> writes:
>> On 01/03/2018 03:57, kosmo wrote:
>>> On Wed, 28 Feb 2018 14:31:56 +0000, Penny <***@labyrinth.freeuk.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>> An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening
>>> watching the
>>>> television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
>>> I think that ought to be ... watching the television, getting drunk,
>>> and smoking cigars.
>>>
>>
>> Indeed. It's not a very good example sentence anyway.
>>
> However, the drinking and smoking television makes a point well (though
> not the point about the Oxford comma!).

I recall seeing Raymond Baxter immersing a working television into a tank
of non electrically conductive liquid on a Tomorrow’s World programme some
years back; the telly continued to perfom normally.

--
Toodle Pip
Sid Nuncius
2018-03-01 18:35:04 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On 28/02/2018 14:31, Penny wrote:

> A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting
> with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

<snip excellent grammar jokes>

An apostrophe walks into a greengrocers.

--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)
Btms
2018-03-01 19:38:20 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Sid Nuncius <***@tesco.net> wrote:
> On 28/02/2018 14:31, Penny wrote:
>
>> A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting
>> with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
>
> <snip excellent grammar jokes>
>
> An apostrophe walks into a greengrocers.
>

And gave birth to lots of baby apostrophes where they lived happily ever
after.

--
BTMS - Equine Advisor Extraordinaire.
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