Discussion:
Grammar
(too old to reply)
Sally Thompson
2018-07-06 07:05:18 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Not mine, nor new, but spotted on Facebook and particularly umratic I
thought:

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting
with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a
wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his
magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys
everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we
don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but
hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They
depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute
as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little
sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting
figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles
heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named
Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they
conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the
television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the
bartender nearly chokes on the irony.




--
Sally in Shropshire, UK
Sid Nuncius
2018-07-06 07:19:11 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On 06/07/2018 08:05, Sally Thompson wrote:
> Not mine, nor new, but spotted on Facebook and particularly umratic I
> thought:
>
> A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting
> with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
>
> A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>
> An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
>
> Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
>
> A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a
> wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his
> magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
>
> Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys
> everything.
>
> A question mark walks into a bar?
>
> A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
>
> Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we
> don't serve your type."
>
> A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but
> hoping to nip it in the bud.
>
> A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>
> Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They
> depart.
>
> A synonym strolls into a tavern.
>
> At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute
> as a button, and sharp as a tack.
>
> A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little
> sentence fragment.
>
> Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
>
> A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting
> figuratively hammered.
>
> An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles
> heel.
>
> The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
>
> A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named
> Ralph.
>
> The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
>
> A dyslexic walks into a bra.
>
> A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they
> conjugate. The noun declines.
>
> An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the
> television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
>
> A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
>
> A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
>
> A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the
> bartender nearly chokes on the irony.


A greengrocer's apostrophe walks into a bar and orders drink's all round.

A young solecism walks into a bar, flaunting the Over-18s Only rule.

So, a superfluous conjunction walks into a bar.


--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)
Vicky Ayech
2018-07-06 08:38:11 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On Fri, 6 Jul 2018 08:19:11 +0100, Sid Nuncius
<***@hotmail.co.uk> wrote:

>On 06/07/2018 08:05, Sally Thompson wrote:
>> Not mine, nor new, but spotted on Facebook and particularly umratic I
>> thought:


You two! mWAH!
agsmith578688@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
2018-07-06 09:23:19 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
Sally Thompson
2018-07-06 10:32:23 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
***@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
<***@gmail.com> wrote:
> A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
>

An indented paragraph walks into a bar and says “let’s get inside”.

--
Sally in Shropshire, UK
BrritSki
2018-07-06 11:02:30 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On 06/07/2018 12:32, Sally Thompson wrote:
> ***@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
> <***@gmail.com> wrote:
>> A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
>>
>
> An indented paragraph walks into a bar and says “let’s get inside”.
>
A musical policeman goes into a bar and goes back out on the beat.

I don't think I've got the hang of this have I ?
John Finlay
2018-07-06 11:31:14 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On 06/07/2018 12:02, BrritSki wrote:
> On 06/07/2018 12:32, Sally Thompson wrote:
>> ***@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
>> <***@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
>>>
>>
>> An indented paragraph walks into a bar and says “let’s get inside”.
>>
> A musical policeman goes into a bar and goes back out on the beat.
>
> I don't think I've got the hang of this have I ?

A zuegma walks into a bar and leaves in tears and a taxi.
John Finlay
2018-07-06 11:34:14 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On 06/07/2018 12:31, John Finlay wrote:
> On 06/07/2018 12:02, BrritSki wrote:
>> On 06/07/2018 12:32, Sally Thompson wrote:
>>> ***@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
>>> <***@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
>>>>
>>>
>>> An indented paragraph walks into a bar and says “let’s get inside”.
>>>
>> A musical policeman goes into a bar and goes back out on the beat.
>>
>> I don't think I've got the hang of this have I ?
>
> A zuegma walks into a bar and leaves in tears and a taxi.

Or.. a zuegma walks into a bar, has a swift half and the barmaid.
DavidK
2018-07-06 14:53:10 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On 06/07/18 12:34, John Finlay wrote:
> On 06/07/2018 12:31, John Finlay wrote:
>> On 06/07/2018 12:02, BrritSki wrote:
>>> On 06/07/2018 12:32, Sally Thompson wrote:
>>>> ***@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
>>>> <***@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> An indented paragraph walks into a bar and says “let’s get inside”.
>>>>
>>> A musical policeman goes into a bar and goes back out on the beat.
>>>
>>> I don't think I've got the hang of this have I ?
>>
>> A zuegma walks into a bar and leaves in tears and a taxi.
>
> Or.. a zuegma walks into a bar, has a swift half and the barmaid.

A garden path sentence walks into a bar and bumps its nose.

An ambiguity walks into a bar and smashes its glasses. PS /zeugma/
J. P. Gilliver (John)
2018-07-07 10:33:54 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
In message <phnk3l$1gjj$***@gioia.aioe.org>, John Finlay
<***@hotmail.com> writes:
>On 06/07/2018 12:31, John Finlay wrote:
>> On 06/07/2018 12:02, BrritSki wrote:
>>> On 06/07/2018 12:32, Sally Thompson wrote:
>>>> ***@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
>>>> <***@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> An indented paragraph walks into a bar and says “let’s get inside”.
>>>>
>>> A musical policeman goes into a bar and goes back out on the beat.
>>>
>>> I don't think I've got the hang of this have I ?
>> A zuegma walks into a bar and leaves in tears and a taxi.

I _think_ it's zeugma.
>
>Or.. a zuegma walks into a bar, has a swift half and the barmaid.

(-:

A biology student ... and asks for a pint of adenosine triphosphate.
"That'll be ATP", says the barman.
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

Never raise your hand to your children. It leaves your mid-section unprotected
Sally Thompson
2018-07-07 14:39:18 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
J. P. Gilliver (John) <G6JPG-***@255soft.uk> wrote:
> In message <phnk3l$1gjj$***@gioia.aioe.org>, John Finlay
> <***@hotmail.com> writes:
>> On 06/07/2018 12:31, John Finlay wrote:
>>> On 06/07/2018 12:02, BrritSki wrote:
>>>> On 06/07/2018 12:32, Sally Thompson wrote:
>>>>> ***@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
>>>>> <***@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> An indented paragraph walks into a bar and says “let’s get inside”.
>>>>>
>>>> A musical policeman goes into a bar and goes back out on the beat.
>>>>
>>>> I don't think I've got the hang of this have I ?
>>> A zuegma walks into a bar and leaves in tears and a taxi.
>
> I _think_ it's zeugma.
>>
>> Or.. a zuegma walks into a bar, has a swift half and the barmaid.
>
> (-:
>
> A biology student ... and asks for a pint of adenosine triphosphate.
> "That'll be ATP", says the barman.

An umrat walks into a bar and asks for an umbrella:-)



--
Sally in Shropshire, UK
Jenny M Benson
2018-07-07 17:17:00 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On 07-Jul-18 03:39 PM, Sally Thompson wrote:
> J. P. Gilliver (John) <G6JPG-***@255soft.uk> wrote:
>> In message <phnk3l$1gjj$***@gioia.aioe.org>, John Finlay
>> <***@hotmail.com> writes:
>>> On 06/07/2018 12:31, John Finlay wrote:
>>>> On 06/07/2018 12:02, BrritSki wrote:
>>>>> On 06/07/2018 12:32, Sally Thompson wrote:
>>>>>> ***@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
>>>>>> <***@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> An indented paragraph walks into a bar and says “let’s get inside”.
>>>>>>
>>>>> A musical policeman goes into a bar and goes back out on the beat.
>>>>>
>>>>> I don't think I've got the hang of this have I ?
>>>> A zuegma walks into a bar and leaves in tears and a taxi.
>>
>> I _think_ it's zeugma.
>>>
>>> Or.. a zuegma walks into a bar, has a swift half and the barmaid.
>>
>> (-:
>>
>> A biology student ... and asks for a pint of adenosine triphosphate.
>> "That'll be ATP", says the barman.
>
> An umrat walks into a bar and asks for an umbrella:-)
>
>
>
Jolly well done!

--
Jenny M Benson
http://jennygenes.blogspot.co.uk/
Mike
2018-07-07 17:18:31 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Jenny M Benson <***@hotmail.co.uk> wrote:
> On 07-Jul-18 03:39 PM, Sally Thompson wrote:
>> J. P. Gilliver (John) <G6JPG-***@255soft.uk> wrote:
>>> In message <phnk3l$1gjj$***@gioia.aioe.org>, John Finlay
>>> <***@hotmail.com> writes:
>>>> On 06/07/2018 12:31, John Finlay wrote:
>>>>> On 06/07/2018 12:02, BrritSki wrote:
>>>>>> On 06/07/2018 12:32, Sally Thompson wrote:
>>>>>>> ***@gmail.com Tony Smith Prestbury Glos.
>>>>>>> <***@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>> A split infinitive walks into a bar to patiently wait to be served?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> An indented paragraph walks into a bar and says “let’s get inside”.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>> A musical policeman goes into a bar and goes back out on the beat.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I don't think I've got the hang of this have I ?
>>>>> A zuegma walks into a bar and leaves in tears and a taxi.
>>>
>>> I _think_ it's zeugma.
>>>>
>>>> Or.. a zuegma walks into a bar, has a swift half and the barmaid.
>>>
>>> (-:
>>>
>>> A biology student ... and asks for a pint of adenosine triphosphate.
>>> "That'll be ATP", says the barman.
>>
>> An umrat walks into a bar and asks for an umbrella:-)
>>
>>
>>
> Jolly well done!
>

I should save that one - for a rainy day.

--
Toodle Pip
Clive Arthur
2018-07-06 14:07:18 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
A man walks into a bar and asks the barmaid for a double entendre so she
gives him one.

Cheers
--
Clive
carolet
2018-07-06 17:44:31 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
On 06/07/2018 08:05, Sally Thompson wrote:
> Not mine, nor new, but spotted on Facebook and particularly umratic I
> thought:

No, not new, it was last reported here on the 28th February in a thread
entitled "pedantry from gransnet". Further contributions were made then
too, if you enjoy this, you may wish to check those out too.

>
> A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting
> with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
>
> A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>
> An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
>
> Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
>
> A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a
> wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his
> magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
>
> Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys
> everything.
>
> A question mark walks into a bar?
>
> A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
>
> Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we
> don't serve your type."
>
> A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but
> hoping to nip it in the bud.
>
> A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>
> Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They
> depart.
>
> A synonym strolls into a tavern.
>
> At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute
> as a button, and sharp as a tack.
>
> A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little
> sentence fragment.
>
> Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
>
> A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting
> figuratively hammered.
>
> An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles
> heel.
>
> The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
>
> A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named
> Ralph.
>
> The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
>
> A dyslexic walks into a bra.
>
> A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they
> conjugate. The noun declines.
>
> An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the
> television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
>
> A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
>
> A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
>
> A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the
> bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
>
>
>
>


--


CaroleT
Loading...