Discussion:
Spoiler 8th. Jan. 2020
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Mike
2020-01-09 14:50:54 UTC
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Hearing the scenes with the builders, it is apparent to me that Jim is
blissfully unaware of the very rigorous training programme that all keen
and conscientious budding builders goes through.
From my own experience, I know that there are certain minimum standards,
these standards are only achievable by attending a long and meticulously
designed course at night school.

Some of the subjects covered during the 26 week, 5 days a week course are
as follows:

1: ability to detect which types of radio programme irritate the occupants
most so that they can be played on a ghetto blaster at high volume
(preferably plugged into the mains power in the property). Failing
availability of mains supply, low voltage battery must be used to ensure
the most harmonically distorted sound possible is audible everywhere in the
property.

2: innate skills to seek out a water supply point (preferably one that
denies the occupants of a much used tap) that can be connected to a hose
that is then left running at pressure all day to ensure water is available
to the workers at any moment.

3: ability to recognise much loved plants so that they may be knocked over
and demolished.

4: recognise the most destructive routes around the property for diggers
and the like to churn up grass, paths and borders.

5: find the cleanest area to set up cement / concrete mixing facilities to
ensure most slopping and despoiling of the property.

6: work out routes taken by utilities such as gas, electricity, drains, it
cabling etc. so that minimum effort will be required to break, burst or
sever the services in the most awkward access locations.

7: ensure that fag ends are evenly distributed around the property, along
with drinks cans, food packaging and cement bags, broken pipe shards, paint
cans, broken pallets and polythene wrapping scraps.

8: on larger jobs, siting portaloos in the most conspicuous position at the
front of the property.

9: park all vans, lorries, cars and plant in the most conspicuous and
inconvenient positions.

10: select plant with tyres that will redistribute as much earth / mud
around the property as possible.

All these subjects and many others that otherrats will contribute to the
list help to ensure a building experience you will never forget!
--
Toodle Pip
Penny
2020-01-09 15:39:20 UTC
Permalink
On Thu, 09 Jan 2020 14:50:54 GMT, Mike <***@ntlworld.com> scrawled
in the dust...
Post by Mike
Hearing the scenes with the builders, it is apparent to me that Jim is
blissfully unaware of the very rigorous training programme that all keen
and conscientious budding builders goes through.
From my own experience, I know that there are certain minimum standards,
these standards are only achievable by attending a long and meticulously
designed course at night school.
Having had my new boiler* installed over two days this week, I'm pleased to
report the two chaps who did it had not passed this course. They left
things fairly clean and tidy and their only fault was in constantly leaving
doors open, both external and internal in a house with no working heating
apart from the little electric fire in the room I was working in which
doesn't have a draught-proof door.

The woman in their office had told me to ensure I had access to a kettle
and water supply so I told them to ask if they wanted tea and was told
they'd brought their own coffee. They do seem to have left a Greggs
take-away cup near the new boiler where I can't reach it.
Post by Mike
Some of the subjects covered during the 26 week, 5 days a week course are
1: ability to detect which types of radio programme irritate the occupants
most so that they can be played on a ghetto blaster at high volume
(preferably plugged into the mains power in the property). Failing
availability of mains supply, low voltage battery must be used to ensure
the most harmonically distorted sound possible is audible everywhere in the
property.
One of the window fitters who were here for a week a few years back
complained loudly about my choice of radio station as well as the sound of
the piano students at my neighbours house - it was summer, the music room
windows were open. Fortunately it seems he didn't own a boom-box.

--->8--- snip of may familiar sounding annoyances
Post by Mike
All these subjects and many others that otherrats will contribute to the
list help to ensure a building experience you will never forget!
The roofers a while back brought no heavy plant but their size 11s walked
all over the flower beds and liberally sprinkled nails over flower beds and
lawn.

* Yes, I still have a headache but it's different and seems to be the
result of a sinus infection - I used to get these all the time in my teens
- I haven't entirely discounted the boiler for setting it off. Application
of little magnets still seems to be helping with the discomfort.
--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959
J. P. Gilliver (John)
2020-01-09 16:43:13 UTC
Permalink
Post by Mike
Hearing the scenes with the builders, it is apparent to me that Jim is
blissfully unaware of the very rigorous training programme that all keen
and conscientious budding builders goes through.
From my own experience, I know that there are certain minimum standards,
these standards are only achievable by attending a long and meticulously
designed course at night school.
Some of the subjects covered during the 26 week, 5 days a week course are
[]
Post by Mike
All these subjects and many others that otherrats will contribute to the
list help to ensure a building experience you will never forget!
You are Bob Newhart and I claim my five bus-driving lessons ...
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

We no longer make things, but sell each other consultancy on how to run
consulatancies better. (Michael Cross, Computing 1999-3-4 [p. 28].)
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