Discussion:
BTA Ceremony 2020 Part 3
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Sid Nuncius
2020-01-05 18:23:50 UTC
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And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the moment when we remember
our friend and fallen fellow umrat Linda Tame, with the inaugural award of

The Linda Tame Virtual Trophy for Mere Vulgarity

Nominations for this trophy, affectionately know as The Bottoms, are
entirely at the discretion of the BTM. Some are BTN attempts, rejected
for being Mere Vulgarity; others were personally selected by the BTM for
the quality of their vulgarity even if they were not BT-nominated.

Before I introduce our guest, please be upstanding and raise your
glasses to our fallen comrade:
Bottoms!

And now, to present the Bottoms – and who better to delve into the smut,
innuendo and downright filth of Umra – please welcome Dame Judi Dench!

Thank you. And the outstandingly vulgar nominees are:

10.1.19 Clive Arthur
Clive Arthur: My Jedson was actually pretty good. I changed the bridge
for an adjustable one and changed the pickups but ended up giving it to
a girlfriend. And the guitar.
Brritski: Did you get her a boom-boom box too? Foxy…
Clive: I tried to get her to play the mouth organ but our Monica sucked
at it.


20.1.19 Rosie
carolet: According to The Archers Archives (by Simon Frith & Chris Arnot):
- Shula spent most of the year travelling, to Bangkok for example
Rosie: So it was only some time later she was comfortable staying in
Ambridge to bang... Oh, I see…


14.2.19 Sid
Dumrat: Excellent. I'm finding it hard to believe she didn't go to
bereavement counselling after Nigel's death. Did she really just use her
stiff upper lip to soldier on?
Sid: IRTA "Did she really just use her stiff upper lip on a soldier?"


6.4.19 Brritski
Paul Herber: One of my favourite biscuits is the Sussex Albert. I'm worried.
Sam Plusnet: Call it a Prince Albert instead. That should solve any
problems.
Brritski: Apart from possible damage to teeth when you bite into it…


10.5.19 John Ashby
Chris McT: (quoting continuity announcer): Now Tom’s face looks as red
as Clarrie’s after a mouthful of Borsetshire Blue
John A: Does Fallon know about this?


29.6.19 Nick Odell
Of Jim’s revelation of childhood abuse:
Vicky: I hope St Shula NEVER finds out what it is. She just needs to
know Snappy knows and it is being sorted. She'd begin nuggering
counselling her new project.
Nick: More appropriate than any other sort, I'd say.


12.7.19 Sam Plusnet
Of Mike McT’s prostate treatment:
Well quite. Do keep a stiff upper lip old chap.
(Not too sure I got that bit quite right)


4.10.19 Clive Arthur
Vicky: Can't Rex remove the sperm from the boar by hand and then put it
in the sows? Or get Snappy to do it?
Clive: <Lady Bracknell>
A ham-job?
</Lady Bracknell>

6.10.19 Brritski
Dumrat: I think when we retire to Athens and Limassol, I will revert to
being a Gumrat (of the Greek kind), rather than a Cypriot one, which
could be badly misinterpreted :)
Brritski: That would deserve a BTN (so I'm told)...

16.11.19 Brritski
Will: "That's where your mum is, she's in you".
deleted line
"and I'd like to be too".

26.11.19 Nick Odell
Vicky: Did Greg have a daughter?
Nick: He certainly had Tony's.


And The Bottoms goes to...NICK ODELL for his shameful, wilfully literal
misinterpretation of the phrase “nuggering counselling.”


There is a second Mere Vulgarity award this year. I think we would all
agree that a special Bottoms Award For Lifetime Achievement In The Field
Of Mere Vulgarity should go to BRRITSKI!

No, you may not make an acceptance speech, Brritters – and certainly not
in the condition you’re in. But many congratulations, MOPMOB!
--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)
Serena Blanchflower
2020-01-05 21:04:36 UTC
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Post by Sid Nuncius
Before I introduce our guest, please be upstanding and raise your
Bottoms!
<raises mug>
--
Best wishes, Serena
I am not young enough to know everything. (Oscar Wilde)
BrritSki
2020-01-05 21:22:21 UTC
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Post by Serena Blanchflower
Post by Sid Nuncius
Before I introduce our guest, please be upstanding and raise your
Bottoms!
<raises mug>
<lw>
Sam Plusnet
2020-01-05 22:46:36 UTC
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Post by Serena Blanchflower
Post by Sid Nuncius
Before I introduce our guest, please be upstanding and raise your
Bottoms!
<raises mug>
Not many parents are that honest with themselves.
--
Sam Plusnet
Serena Blanchflower
2020-01-06 12:01:00 UTC
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Post by Sam Plusnet
Post by Serena Blanchflower
Post by Sid Nuncius
Before I introduce our guest, please be upstanding and raise your
Bottoms!
<raises mug>
Not many parents are that honest with themselves.
contents of mug snorted over keyboard....
--
Best wishes, Serena
My doctor told me to keep in shape. Well, this is my shape and I'm
keeping it (anon)
Chris McMillan
2020-01-07 15:31:55 UTC
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Post by Serena Blanchflower
Post by Sid Nuncius
Before I introduce our guest, please be upstanding and raise your
Bottoms!
<raises mug>
Small glass of Rochester very strong ginger.

Sincerely Chris

Nick Odell
2020-01-05 23:36:52 UTC
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On Sun, 5 Jan 2020 18:23:50 +0000, Sid Nuncius
Post by Sid Nuncius
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the moment when we remember
our friend and fallen fellow umrat Linda Tame, with the inaugural award of
The Linda Tame Virtual Trophy for Mere Vulgarity
Nominations for this trophy, affectionately know as The Bottoms, are
entirely at the discretion of the BTM. Some are BTN attempts, rejected
for being Mere Vulgarity; others were personally selected by the BTM for
the quality of their vulgarity even if they were not BT-nominated.
Before I introduce our guest, please be upstanding and raise your
Bottoms!
And now, to present the Bottoms – and who better to delve into the smut,
innuendo and downright filth of Umra – please welcome Dame Judi Dench!
10.1.19 Clive Arthur
Clive Arthur: My Jedson was actually pretty good. I changed the bridge
for an adjustable one and changed the pickups but ended up giving it to
a girlfriend. And the guitar.
Brritski: Did you get her a boom-boom box too? Foxy…
Clive: I tried to get her to play the mouth organ but our Monica sucked
at it.
20.1.19 Rosie
- Shula spent most of the year travelling, to Bangkok for example
Rosie: So it was only some time later she was comfortable staying in
Ambridge to bang... Oh, I see…
14.2.19 Sid
Dumrat: Excellent. I'm finding it hard to believe she didn't go to
bereavement counselling after Nigel's death. Did she really just use her
stiff upper lip to soldier on?
Sid: IRTA "Did she really just use her stiff upper lip on a soldier?"
6.4.19 Brritski
Paul Herber: One of my favourite biscuits is the Sussex Albert. I'm worried.
Sam Plusnet: Call it a Prince Albert instead. That should solve any
problems.
Brritski: Apart from possible damage to teeth when you bite into it…
10.5.19 John Ashby
Chris McT: (quoting continuity announcer): Now Tom’s face looks as red
as Clarrie’s after a mouthful of Borsetshire Blue
John A: Does Fallon know about this?
29.6.19 Nick Odell
Vicky: I hope St Shula NEVER finds out what it is. She just needs to
know Snappy knows and it is being sorted. She'd begin nuggering
counselling her new project.
Nick: More appropriate than any other sort, I'd say.
12.7.19 Sam Plusnet
Well quite. Do keep a stiff upper lip old chap.
(Not too sure I got that bit quite right)
4.10.19 Clive Arthur
Vicky: Can't Rex remove the sperm from the boar by hand and then put it
in the sows? Or get Snappy to do it?
Clive: <Lady Bracknell>
A ham-job?
</Lady Bracknell>
6.10.19 Brritski
Dumrat: I think when we retire to Athens and Limassol, I will revert to
being a Gumrat (of the Greek kind), rather than a Cypriot one, which
could be badly misinterpreted :)
Brritski: That would deserve a BTN (so I'm told)...
16.11.19 Brritski
Will: "That's where your mum is, she's in you".
deleted line
"and I'd like to be too".
26.11.19 Nick Odell
Vicky: Did Greg have a daughter?
Nick: He certainly had Tony's.
And The Bottoms goes to...NICK ODELL for his shameful, wilfully literal
misinterpretation of the phrase “nuggering counselling.”
Oh! Gosh! I'm completely overwhelmed and surprised and delighted and
really didn't expect this at all. I don't know where to begin in
thanking all those to whom I owe such a debt of gratitude <fx: pulls
six-pages of closely-typed notes from his back trouser pocket>

Hello, Mr Security. No, it's okay, I don't need any help getting off
stage. Oh, I see I'm going to get it anyway....
Post by Sid Nuncius
There is a second Mere Vulgarity award this year. I think we would all
agree that a special Bottoms Award For Lifetime Achievement In The Field
Of Mere Vulgarity should go to BRRITSKI!
…
No, you may not make an acceptance speech, Brritters – and certainly not
in the condition you’re in. But many congratulations, MOPMOB!
Seconded. Hear! Hear!

Nick
Vicky Ayech
2020-01-06 09:40:45 UTC
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On Sun, 05 Jan 2020 23:36:52 +0000, Nick Odell
Post by Nick Odell
Post by Sid Nuncius
29.6.19 Nick Odell
Vicky: I hope St Shula NEVER finds out what it is. She just needs to
know Snappy knows and it is being sorted. She'd begin nuggering
counselling her new project.
Nick: More appropriate than any other sort, I'd say.
12.7.19 Sam Plusnet
Well quite. Do keep a stiff upper lip old chap.
(Not too sure I got that bit quite right)
4.10.19 Clive Arthur
Vicky: Can't Rex remove the sperm from the boar by hand and then put it
in the sows? Or get Snappy to do it?
Clive: <Lady Bracknell>
A ham-job?
</Lady Bracknell>
26.11.19 Nick Odell
Vicky: Did Greg have a daughter?
Nick: He certainly had Tony's.
And The Bottoms goes to...NICK ODELL for his shameful, wilfully literal
misinterpretation of the phrase “nuggering counselling.”
Oh! Gosh! I'm completely overwhelmed and surprised and delighted and
really didn't expect this at all. I don't know where to begin in
thanking all those to whom I owe such a debt of gratitude <fx: pulls
six-pages of closely-typed notes from his back trouser pocket>
Hello, Mr Security. No, it's okay, I don't need any help getting off
stage. Oh, I see I'm going to get it anyway....
A wonderful ceremony, Sid. I seem to have inherited Chris's feedlines
'r'us mantle.
BrritSki
2020-01-06 08:50:21 UTC
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Post by Sid Nuncius

No, you may not make an acceptance speech, Brritters – and certainly not
in the condition you’re in.  But many congratulations, MOPMOB!
Oh dear, my head hurts. Which must be why I missed this last night.

Deeply honoured Sid, especially coming from you ;)
Dumrat
2020-01-06 19:33:39 UTC
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And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the moment when we remember our friend and
fallen fellow umrat Linda Tame, with the inaugural award of
The Linda Tame Virtual Trophy for Mere Vulgarity
Nominations for this trophy, affectionately know as The Bottoms, are entirely at the
discretion of the BTM.  Some are BTN attempts, rejected for being Mere Vulgarity; others
were personally selected by the BTM for the quality of their vulgarity even if they were
not BT-nominated.
Before I introduce our guest, please be upstanding and raise your glasses to our fallen
Bottoms!
And now, to present the Bottoms – and who better to delve into the smut, innuendo and
downright filth of Umra – please welcome Dame Judi Dench!
10.1.19 Clive Arthur
Clive Arthur:  My Jedson was actually pretty good.  I changed the bridge for an adjustable
one and changed the pickups but ended up giving it to a girlfriend.  And the guitar.
Brritski: Did you get her a boom-boom box too? Foxy…
Clive: I tried to get her to play the mouth organ but our Monica sucked at it.
20.1.19 Rosie
- Shula spent most of the year travelling, to Bangkok for example
Rosie: So it was only some time later she was comfortable staying in Ambridge to bang...
Oh, I see…
14.2.19 Sid
Dumrat: Excellent. I'm finding it hard to believe she didn't go to bereavement counselling
after Nigel's death. Did she really just use her stiff upper lip to soldier on?
Sid: IRTA "Did she really just use her stiff upper lip on a soldier?"
6.4.19 Brritski
Paul Herber: One of my favourite biscuits is the Sussex Albert. I'm worried.
Sam Plusnet: Call it a Prince Albert instead.  That should solve any problems.
Brritski: Apart from possible damage to teeth when you bite into it…
10.5.19 John Ashby
Chris McT: (quoting continuity announcer):  Now Tom’s face looks as red as Clarrie’s after
a mouthful of Borsetshire Blue
John A:  Does Fallon know about this?
29.6.19 Nick Odell
Vicky: I hope St Shula NEVER finds out what it is. She just needs to know Snappy knows and
it is being sorted. She'd begin nuggering counselling her new project.
Nick: More appropriate than any other sort, I'd say.
12.7.19 Sam Plusnet
Well quite.  Do keep a stiff upper lip old chap.
(Not too sure I got that bit quite right)
4.10.19 Clive Arthur
Vicky:  Can't Rex remove the sperm from the boar by hand and then put it in the sows? Or
get Snappy to do it?
Clive: <Lady Bracknell>
A ham-job?
</Lady Bracknell>
6.10.19 Brritski
Dumrat: I think when we retire to Athens and Limassol, I will revert to being a Gumrat (of
the Greek kind), rather than a Cypriot one, which could be badly misinterpreted :)
Brritski: That would deserve a BTN (so I'm told)...
16.11.19 Brritski
Will: "That's where your mum is, she's in you".
 deleted line
  "and I'd like to be too".
26.11.19 Nick Odell
Vicky: Did Greg have a daughter?
Nick: He certainly had Tony's.
And The Bottoms goes to...NICK ODELL for his shameful, wilfully literal misinterpretation
of the phrase “nuggering counselling.”
There is a second Mere Vulgarity award this year.  I think we would all agree that a
special Bottoms Award For Lifetime Achievement In The Field Of Mere Vulgarity should go to
BRRITSKI!

No, you may not make an acceptance speech, Brritters – and certainly not in the condition
you’re in.  But many congratulations, MOPMOB!
FMTAAW.

<Preens> I reckon I qualify as a Bottom Feed(lin)er. <mode: proud>
--
Salaam Alaykum,
Anne, Exceptionally Traditionally-built Dumrat
BrritSki
2020-01-06 21:13:35 UTC
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Post by Dumrat
FMTAAW.
Well really Dumrat, there's no need for language like that...
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