Vicky Ayech
2019-11-14 12:31:24 UTC
She wanted to be cheered up. I thought umra might like them too. There
are more but I got tired and I cut out the rude ones as these are the
ones I typed ti send to 13 yr old grandson :)
How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler
a man walked into a bar....OW
What do you call a monkey with a bomb..... A baboom
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
How do you catch a rabbit? Stand behind a tree and make a sound like a
carrot.
theres lots of positives to living in Switzerland isnt there?
Well the flag is a big plus.
do you know the last thing Captain Cook said to his crew before they
got on the boat? "get on the boat, crew"
Two hamsters in an airing cupboard, how can you tell which one is the
soldier?
The one on the tank!
whats white and round and can lift heavy weights. An Extra Strong Mint
What cheese do you use to entice Winnie the pooh out of a tree?
Camembert
How do you tell the difference between fog and mist?
Get a stone, throw the stone into it....and if you dont hear a noise,
you know its missed.
Whats pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife!
What's green with 6 legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree
onto your head? A snooker table.
Why cant a motorbike standup? Its two tired!
What's blue and doesn't weigh very much?
Light blue
Im addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
Where does the king keep his armies ???
Up his sleevies
What type of bird is a happy Rockhopper?
A pen-grin.
What's small, white, round and giggles?
A tickled onion!
What do you call cake that isn't yours?
Stollen.
Customer asks waiter what the soup of the day is.
Waiter: Its bean soup.
Customer: I dont care what its been, I want to know what it is now!
Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
So they can hide upside down in custard.
Ive never seen an elephant hide upside down in custard.
That just shows it works, doesnt it?
there are moire but I am tired
xxx
are more but I got tired and I cut out the rude ones as these are the
ones I typed ti send to 13 yr old grandson :)
How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler
a man walked into a bar....OW
What do you call a monkey with a bomb..... A baboom
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
How do you catch a rabbit? Stand behind a tree and make a sound like a
carrot.
theres lots of positives to living in Switzerland isnt there?
Well the flag is a big plus.
do you know the last thing Captain Cook said to his crew before they
got on the boat? "get on the boat, crew"
Two hamsters in an airing cupboard, how can you tell which one is the
soldier?
The one on the tank!
whats white and round and can lift heavy weights. An Extra Strong Mint
What cheese do you use to entice Winnie the pooh out of a tree?
Camembert
How do you tell the difference between fog and mist?
Get a stone, throw the stone into it....and if you dont hear a noise,
you know its missed.
Whats pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife!
What's green with 6 legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree
onto your head? A snooker table.
Why cant a motorbike standup? Its two tired!
What's blue and doesn't weigh very much?
Light blue
Im addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
Where does the king keep his armies ???
Up his sleevies
What type of bird is a happy Rockhopper?
A pen-grin.
What's small, white, round and giggles?
A tickled onion!
What do you call cake that isn't yours?
Stollen.
Customer asks waiter what the soup of the day is.
Waiter: Its bean soup.
Customer: I dont care what its been, I want to know what it is now!
Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
So they can hide upside down in custard.
Ive never seen an elephant hide upside down in custard.
That just shows it works, doesnt it?
there are moire but I am tired
xxx